Reviews: London

No pictures here sorry.


Irn Bru

I know this exists in Sydney but I'd never tried it and everyone always wanks on about how great it is so I thought I'd give it a go. It tastes super super sweet. It reminds me of something I've had before that I wasn't fussed on, but I can't think of what. Maybe creaming soda? Anyway Irn Bru is not as great as everyone wants you to think; don't listen to them.

Rating: 2 stars


Rolo milkshake

This seems to be a thing in England, where you select a chocolate bar or fresh fruit and then they make a milkshake out of that for you for around 2.5 pounds. I had a Rolo one. DELICIOUS. This is up with cricket as the greatest thing you have ever invented England, well done.

Rating: 5 stars


Steak lunch at pub

This was real dry and terrible and also five or six pounds. BOO

Rating: 2 stars


Blackcurrent soda

I was at the pub and I asked the guy what sodas he had and he didn't understand, and so I asked him what soft drinks he had and he didn't understand, so I ended up getting this because Ro ordered this right before me. It is a glass of soda water with a bit of blackcurrent syrup at the top. This is the best drink because it is 30p for a pint. A+ would drink again.

Rating: 4 stars


Wanky fish and chips

On our first day in London we went to a wanky fish and chip restaurant in Covent Garden. It was like 11 pounds but it was real good, so probably worth it. Take off one star if you want to take into account how expensive it was.

Rating: 4.5 stars

Things about England:

• Everyone here loves Lucozade. It's like the most popular drink after beer and Coke.
• The most English thing seems to be having a pier jutting out into the ocean, and then filling that pier up with slot machines and then letting five year olds play those slot machines. Ro also loves doing this.
  
• I didn't realise that ale is just flat beer until I ordered one. Ale is gross.
• England is totally the rudest country ever. I think out of about fifty customer service experiences we have had in this country, ...two? have been friendly? All pubs and shops are populated by severe eastern European woman who answer requests with "YES." and then don't do what you want until you ask them another three times. If England is what America would be like if tipping didn't exist then y'all should probably just keep the tipping.
• A lot of people just have their dogs wherever, often off the lead. Like not just parks and stuff, on streets in the middle of London and on the tube and things like that. Real weird.
• There are Australians everywhere.
• Fosters is a thing here. It's available at all the pubs and people seem to actually drink it. I might have to try it one day, for science.
• Mind the gap
• The tube is too small. Get a bigger tube, England.
• It is summer here, so people keep walking around with their shirts off and announcers on trains keep encouraging people to drink plenty of water ps it is like 20 degrees
• Americans talking about the "toob" are real funny