Food review

Fanta (melon Calpis)

Karaoke came with all you can drink soda, which was pretty awesome. The only soda I hadn't already tried was melon Calpis Fanta. Melon Fanta is already by far the best Fanta, and this tasted as you would expect it to, like a combination of melon Fanta and Calpis. Basically like a ice cream soda but with melon Fanta. I think I prefer regular melon but this was a nice change. 4 stars.

Crunky

I got this mainly because of the name. It's just chocolate with "malt puffs" in it. I think there's a candy bar in Australia that is the equivalent of this ("Crunch"?). 3 stars for the candy, add an additional star for the name.

Pocky (nutcream)

Haha okay I definitely bought this for the name. Nutcream Pocky is very delicious. I guess it's just Pocky with peanut butter on it, but I liked it more than regular Pocky. Would buy again. 4 stars for the candy, add an additional 2 stars for the name. YES THAT IS SIX STARS THAT IS HOW FUNNY IT IS TO SELL YOUR CANDY AS NUTCREAM FLAVOURED.

Okonamiyaki

I had this for lunch. This was a pancake type of thing with pork and plum in it. It was pretty good, but there were some bites that were very plummy and then other bites that weren't plummy at all. We cooked this ourselves but the restaurant lady was the one that mixed up the batter, so that's on her. 3.5 stars.

Pancake thing (chocolate)

This was a pancake filled with chocolate. Shara thought this was delicious but it was a little rich for me (plus I was still full from lunch). 3.5 stars. 

Crepe cake

This was Shara's dessert at dinner. It was a cake made out of alternating layers of crepe and cream. I had some, but again, a little too rich for me. Still good though. 3.5 stars.

Icecream sundae

Oh man this was delicious. This was my dessert at dinner. Icecream sundae with strawberry topping BUT the entire bottom half of it was some sort of strawberry froyo/gelato type of thing that was v. delicious. I was pretty full at this point but I would eat again. Also it was 200 yen. 4.5 stars.

Soda Review: Day 6

Fanta (Orange)

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I tasted this briefly in Carl’s Jr. It tasted pretty similar but marginally inferior to Australian Fanta. Don’t know if it holds up if you get a whole bottle though.

Rating: 3 stars
Contains HFCS? Yes

Dr Pepper

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Just tastes like Diet Dr Pepper.

Rating: 1 star
Contains HFCS? Yes

Fanta (Raspberry)

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I only had one mouthful of this but it was unbearable. I seem to have blocked the experience from my mind but I can vaguely remember it tasting like bleach.

Rating: 1 star
Contains HFCS? Yes

Carl’s Jr Oreo Shake

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This shake has like 39 grams of fat in it, and 25 grams of saturated fat. It just tasted like a vanilla milkshake with Oreos in it. Not bad, but not fantastic. Certainly not worth 25 grams of saturated fat. By the way Carl’s Jr milkshakes are “handscooped”, which I can only assume means that the employees scoop the icecream into your container with their bare hands. WHY WOULD YOU ADVERTISE THIS, CARL’S JR? ALSO WHAT IS WITH YOUR NAME? THE APOSTROPHE ESS IS IN THE WRONG SPOT.

Rating: 3 stars
Contains HFCS: Probably

Soda Review: Day 5

Olde English

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This is the malt liquor I bought. I picked up a 40 ounce (1.2 litre) bottle for about $2.70. The alcohol content was about 8%, so it must have had at least eight standard drinks in it. For $2.70. I thought it would taste disgusting but it really tastes exactly the same as any non-fancy Australian beer. But with twice the alcohol content. And it costs $2.70. If they sold this in Australia I would drink it exclusively. Well done America.

Rating: 4 stars (5 stars when factoring in price)
Contains HFCS? Unknown

In-n-Out Chocolate Shake

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This tasted okay, but it wasn’t very chocolatey at all. It tasted more like a vanilla shake. Nothing wrong with it though.

Rating: 3 stars
Contains HFCS? Probably

In-n-Out Neopolitan Shake

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This is supposed to be vanilla, chocolate and strawberry, but really it just tasted like strawberry. I kind of hate the artificial flavour in strawberry milkshakes so I didn’t like this much. Take note: this is part of the ‘secret’ menu at In-n-Out! You have to know about it to order it.

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? Probably

Soda Review: Day 3 and 4

Coke (Mexican)

We bought this because Coke bottled in Mexico does not contain high fructose corn syrup. Also the bottle was real awesome. The Coke was actually really great. It tasted a bit like Australian Coke that had been slightly watered down. I found this a refreshing taste. It also had an aftertaste of a weird kind of spice at first, but after a few mouthfuls that went away. This was enjoyable to drink even though we drank it at room temperature. I would say it was as good as Australian Coke, but for different reasons.

Rating: 4 stars
Contains HFCS? No

Jarritos (Fruit Punch)

This is Mexican soda we managed to find at the supermarket. This one was fruit punch flavour which seems to be reasonably popular in America. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to taste like, but given the few fruit punch drinks we have had I think what they are going for is cough syrup. I have to say they nail it pretty well. This was much better than the fruit punch Vitamin Water, but I still did not think it was particularly great. I think Shara and Lyndal thought it tasted like sherbert and was okay though.

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? No

Churrito (Guava)

I thought this flavour was much better. I can’t remember exactly how I would describe the taste now, but I remember quite liking it. Obviously not that memorable though. Shara and Lyndal didn’t like it.

Rating: 3 stars
Contains HFCS? No

Pepsi

Tastes like Australian Pepsi.

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? Yes

Sweetened Raspberry Nestea

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Shara got this at Carl’s Jr because we had tried all of the other sodas they had and they were disgusting. This was actually reasonably good. Still probably way too sweet and nothing like tea, but better than, say, American Coke. Just really tasted like raspberry cordial.

Rating: 3 stars
Contains HFCS? Probably

Sam Adams Spring Ale

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I really liked this. I am no good at describing beer but it seemed like a pretty light beer with a vaguely spicy flavour? I thought it was real refreshing and one of the best beers I have had. I drank all of the bottles Peter had.

Rating: 5 stars
Contains HFCS? I hope not

Sam Adams Winter Lager

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This was a heavier beer that tasted more chocolatey. I didn’t like it as much because all beers like this (do you call them full beers?) taste kind of like peat to me.

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? Who knows

Some weird beer Ryan loves

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Ryan wanted me to try this because I said I liked the other beer that was reasonable spicy. This one was way way spicier and full of “cilantro” (lol). It wasn’t horrible, but it also wasn’t particularly nice. Sorry Ryan!

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? Unknown

Mountain Dew Blue slurpee

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Lyndal got this because she thought it would be the safest slurpee flavour, given that we had already tried the blue Mountain Dew soda. This was totally awful in incredibly varied ways. The main flavour was just sugar but it had an aftertaste that kind of tasted like vomit. Lyndal only bought a tiny cup but she ended up throwing most of it away.

Rating: 1 star
Contains HFCS? Absolutely it does

Diet Dr Pepper

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Bill got a “double gulp” of this, which is 64 ounces (1.9 litres). It cost him like $2. He gave me a taste and it was terrible in ways that defy description. It mostly tasted like American Coke with a bunch of cinnamon thrown into it. Why would someone think that is a good idea for a thing?

Rating: 1 star
Contains HFCS? Yes?

Soda Review: Day 2

Dasani Water (with "minerals")

I bought this partly because I really needed to drink something that didn't have sugar in it, and partly because I really needed to poo at the place we bought this from and I assume since you have to ask to go to the toilet at all fast food joints that is so they can tell you to buy something or get out? Anyway I am reviewing this because according to the label this is not just water, it is water that they added salt and a bunch of other shit to. For "flavor". The Coca Cola Company, ladies and gentlemen. Anyway this tasted the same as tap water so I would give it three stars (the star rating chilled tap water gets), but I took off a star because I am creeped out that they ADDED SALT TO BOTTLED WATER IN ORDER TO MAKE IT MORE APPETISING TO AMERICANS. Oh ps this bottle of water cost more than any soda on their menu.

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? Not according to the label but if they add salt to their water WHO KNOWS???

Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino

Lyndal bought this at the supermarket last night.
I am a huge fan of the coffee drinks in a can you can get from Asian grocery shops, like Mr. Brown, that are cold, milky, sugary coffee. This is how I tend to drink coffee anyway, so this thing looked great, but it didn't fail to meet America sweetness standards.
I couldn't finish it, even after trying to drink it in 2 sittings, this was far sweeter than any Asian coffee drink.

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? No

Jack In The Box Pomegranate Berry Smoothie

We made Lyndal get this because we thought it looked pretty interesting, and the most refreshing on the menu. It was pretty scary. It was way too sweet, like if you got a boost juice and then added seven tablespoons of sugar. I couldn't really taste the pomegranate either, it was mostly just berry. Reasonably refreshing though, if way too sweet.

Rating: 3 stars
Contains HFCS? Probably

Jack In The Box Chocolate Shake (with Whip)

After the success of yesterday's shake we thought we would see if this one was as good. I didn't like it quite as much as the Fatburger shake, but it still delivered the goods in a way that Australian shakes cannot. Still really chocolatey and thick. This one had whip on top though, which was totally crazy. I don't eat cream anyway but according to Shara and Lyndal this was mock cream, which is just butter and sugar. There was also a huge amount of it. They ate it but weren't happy about the situation. If we were to order any more shakes on this trip it would definitely be sans cream. The drink you see in the picture was a large, which we could not finish between the two of us. I felt sick for a reasonable time period afterwards. Great shake though.

Rating: 4 stars
Contains HFCS? Probably

Here is Lyndal with some drinks:

Soda Review: day 1

Mountain Dew: Voltage

This is apparently one of several varieties of Mountain Dew has released, that dew drinkers can vote on and only one will remain in the end. This one is "charged with raspberry citrus flavor and ginseng". It has low sodium which is encouraging! I hate it when my soda is full of salt.

I have no idea why this is all blue if it supposed to be raspberry flavour? I guess green + red = blue? Does that work? I dunno but anyway this tastes as artificial as it looks. Hard to pin down the smell and flavour but it definitely contains raspberry. Sort of if you combined that weird raspberry soft drink you can get at Burger King sometimes combined with that weird bubblegum flavour soft drink companies seem to like. Lyndal thinks it tastes like Zooper Doopers. It's okay, it doesn't have that weird aftertaste that most other American soda seems to have. I haven't tried US Mountain Dew but this isn't as good as the Australian version. Probably contains one million percent more caffiene though!

Rating: 3 stars
Contains HFCS? Yes

Coca Cola

The bottles in America are really weird! They are a lot shorter and fatter, they look pretty cute. The caps are also really short for some reason. I wonder if they have a greater propensity to fall off than the Australian caps?

Anyway to get to the nutmeat, Coke in America tastes absolutely awful. It tastes like Australian Vanilla Coke, which I hate. It has some sort of really weird flavour that goes along with the Coke. Maybe nutty? Lyndal reckons it tastes like it is full of almonds which sounds about right. Anyway I do not want to drink nutty soda!! Is it the high fructose corn syrup that does this? Lyndal drank the whole thing and reckons that it got better as she went along but I was not tempted to go back to the bottle. Terrible. Thumbs down America!

Rating: 1 star
Contains HFCS? Yes

Vitamin Water: Fruit Punch

Shara bought this because it was the only beverage in the supermarket that had cane sugar rather than HFCS. Anyway it was terrible. Even Kristen who is a big Vitamin Water fan mentioned that this is the worst flavour. It smells and tastes like really bad cherry-flavoured cough syrup. I hate cherry to begin with (I don't understand the American/Australian fascination with the horrible fake cherry flavour that is in everything) but Shara and Lyndal who are exceedingly pro-cherry panned this too. It tastes like a cross between Powerade and something that I can't quite put my finger on. Also the label says it contains less than one percent of fruit juice. Why would you advertise this? Anyway this is bad. Avoid.

Rating: 1 star
Contains HFCS? No

Fatburger Chocolate Shake

Lyndal got this from Fatburger when we went for dinner because the soda was all so weird. Anyway this was great! It was huge and only like three dollars and totally chocolatey and thick. Americans know how to do milkshakes! I might just eat shakes in America. Delicious.

Rating: 5 stars
Contains HFCS? Probably

Sprite

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We got this from the fountain at Fatburger. We had already come to the conclusion that American Coke is totally weird and not to be trusted so I thought Sprite would be a solid alternative. I was mostly wrong. You know how Australian Sprite tastes when you make ice with really weird tasting tap water and then have a glass full of Sprite and ice and all the ice melts and so it tastes like Sprite but with a really weird aftertaste? American Sprite tastes like that ALL THE TIME. So weird. Not sure if this is because they put too much water in the fountain at Fatburger or what. Anyway not as bad as Coke, but I would still choose water over this.

Rating: 2 stars
Contains HFCS? Yes

Nestea (Unsweetened)

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After we had the Sprite we refilled with this. We were hoping that since it isn't soda at all it would be less weird. This was just weird in a totally different way. Nestea is just unsweetened cold Earl Grey tea. That's it. I was assuming it would be like peach or lemon flavoured or something, but nope. Just cold black tea. Kristen said you could put some sugar in it yourself but then it would be cold black tea with sugar granules at the bottom of it. Delicious! Oh wait I mean disgusting. WHY IS THIS A FOUNTAIN OPTION??? IS THIS WHY YOU AMERICANS HATE TEA SO MUCH? The only upside is that since it is cold tea it was reasonably refreshing, if totally gross.

Rating: 1 star
Contains HFCS? No