We ended up all waking up at about 2:45am which was good because neither of the alarms we set went off. After packing we left the casino which was as full at 4am as it had been at 5pm the previous day. Ridiculous. Some old scary dude at the casino cracked onto Lyndal by saying she “made a hiker sweat”, and I am pretty sure she loved that.
While we were on the shuttle to the airport one of the other drivers rang through on the radio and reported that “some dirty hooker stole my pizza! We are living in desperate times… what is the world coming to”. So that was pretty great. We had to wait around the airport for like two hours because the shuttle company is so ridiculous but the airport had free wifi so that was somewhat okay. I almost got some Cinnabon to try but the line was too huge. One of these days Cinnabon!!!! Lyndal complained that even thinking about food was making her feel sick, and then immediately said “I’m going to see what Sausage Kingdom have to eat”. She is real weird. Also I am amused that there exists a place called Sausage Kingdom. I played a Star Wars slot machine at the airport but won nothing. Curse you Chewie!
Our flight to New York took fuckin ages to board because people are dumb and like to stand around in the aisles picking their noses. Also there were heaps of frat boys sitting around us who kept farting and telling each other about the time they totally pissed their pants on a plane bro and playing Nickelback or some other shit really loud through their headphones. There were also some Australian bogans who complained loudly and repeatedly because they were forced to check in their massive bags instead of carry them on the plane. So that was nice. We got into New York about half an hour ahead of schedule but it took a million hours to deplane (their terminology) and get our bags so it kind of put us behind again.
When we got to New York we found that one of the trains we were meant to be taking to the hotel just wasn’t running at all and a bus had replaced it. So we got on a mega crowded bus with massive packs as well as hand luggage and had the worst bus trip ever. The driver was awful and stopped suddenly a whole bunch of times, and forced other cars to reverse in order to avoid being hit by him. In the end to get from the airport (in Queens) to our hotel (also in Queens) we had to take three trains and a bus. It took three hours. Public transport in New York is the worst. After we managed to check in (which was reasonably difficult as no one in America seems to understand what my name is; I have to spell it) Shara and Lyndal fell asleep and have not woken up since. We were meant to be going to ASSSCAT tonight but I think it’s probably in our strategic interests to be megaboring tonight in order to not die of tiredness tomorrow. We get to see Ro soon though, I am excited!!!
Showing posts with label flight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flight. Show all posts
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Day 6: Gay news
We woke up v. tired and Ryan drove us to San Francisco Airport. The airport was pretty great and Shara and Lyndal got cracked onto by a jovial elderly TSA employee. Our flight to Las Vegas got delayed like five times and then ended up departing at the scheduled time anyway. The flight was amazing! It was on Virgin America which I think is pretty new so they had this plane with great entertainment facilities. You could play Doom on the headrest! So I did that while Shara slept and Lyndal probably listened to Jack Johnson or something. The woman in front of us was thinking about paying $7 to watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua on the plane. The in-flight review gave it four stars! Amazing. Anyway the flight only went for an hour or so which was pretty enjoyable.
By the time we got out of the airport and had caught a shuttle to our hotel it was like 5:30. The shuttle company was ridiculous and said that for a 6:55am flight we would have to be picked up at 4:00am, which would mean that we would have to wake up at about 3. This combined with the fact that we got little sleep in San Jose meant it was unfeasible to go to a show in Las Vegas, which was a shame. The hotel room was pretty great though. We stayed in the Stratosphere which has a McDonald’s INSIDE THE HOTEL! LOL America. Our room gave us a pretty great view of the big ol’ tower outside the hotel and various billboards advertising strippers and such. The toilet was also pretty great, it flushed real powerful like we were on a plane or our waste was being jettisoned into space. There was no way my poo was getting away. On the way to get dinner Lyndal played the slots and won $2.50 from an investment of $1. Sucked in casino! Lyndal tried to get me lost in Las Vegas but luckily I figured out where we were going. We saw some dudes in wedding gear taking glamour photos outside the casino, which was pretty classy.
After dinner Shara slept, Lyndal wrote about boys in her diary and I took a mega relaxing bath and finished the first of my seven books. We went to bed at like 9 o’clock. Pretty boring night in Las Vegas, sorry dudes!
By the time we got out of the airport and had caught a shuttle to our hotel it was like 5:30. The shuttle company was ridiculous and said that for a 6:55am flight we would have to be picked up at 4:00am, which would mean that we would have to wake up at about 3. This combined with the fact that we got little sleep in San Jose meant it was unfeasible to go to a show in Las Vegas, which was a shame. The hotel room was pretty great though. We stayed in the Stratosphere which has a McDonald’s INSIDE THE HOTEL! LOL America. Our room gave us a pretty great view of the big ol’ tower outside the hotel and various billboards advertising strippers and such. The toilet was also pretty great, it flushed real powerful like we were on a plane or our waste was being jettisoned into space. There was no way my poo was getting away. On the way to get dinner Lyndal played the slots and won $2.50 from an investment of $1. Sucked in casino! Lyndal tried to get me lost in Las Vegas but luckily I figured out where we were going. We saw some dudes in wedding gear taking glamour photos outside the casino, which was pretty classy.
After dinner Shara slept, Lyndal wrote about boys in her diary and I took a mega relaxing bath and finished the first of my seven books. We went to bed at like 9 o’clock. Pretty boring night in Las Vegas, sorry dudes!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Day 4: We know the way to San Jose
(Lyndal wrote most of this)
I think these dudes here all think I'm a massive nerd, they have all been up and about and I am sitting on the laptop.
Yesterday LACMA was rad, but we only had just over an hour to explore it before we needed to catch a flight, the place was huge and you probably need 2 visits to really see everything but we saw a photographic exhibition and the huge 'broad modern art' building with the longest escalator ever. Webber enjoyed Jeff Koons, he thinks Koons is a troll and is just in it for the lolz.
endlessmike very kindly drove us to the airport despite the weird signage, checking in was bizarre however. This was our first experience with US airport security check in procedures so next time we really need to be more organised. And throw out EMPTY water bottles. In case they have bombs in them?
The flight was the best ever! Less than half full, really short flight and SKYMALL CATALOGUES.
For those who are uninitiated, SkyMall is best summed up by these articles by the famous Bill Hanstock - part one, part two and part three.
Speaking of whom, we are currently residing with Bill, Ryan and Peter (and the gorgeous Bella) and rocking out downtown San Jose.
Peter was making dinner so Bill took us down the road to the 7-11 where we became seriously excited by the vast selection of ice cream sandwiches
Shara and Webber bought 680mL cans of drink for 99¢ and I decided to brave a small Mountain Dew Volt slushee because of all the flavours there it was the least scary ('Gridiron' flavour is too terrifying) but it tasted foul and I just threw it out.
One of the more disgusting looking drinks was 'Tomato and Clam Chowder' and THIS SHOULD NEVER BE AVAILABLE.
Bill also bought a 64 oz (1.9 litre) Double Gulp of Diet Dr Pepper, which should probably also never be available. It tasted awful. Peter made some awesome awesome tandori chicken with chutney and mint and "cilantro" yoghurt, and then we drank beer and discussed ways in which America is unlike Australia.
I think these dudes here all think I'm a massive nerd, they have all been up and about and I am sitting on the laptop.
Yesterday LACMA was rad, but we only had just over an hour to explore it before we needed to catch a flight, the place was huge and you probably need 2 visits to really see everything but we saw a photographic exhibition and the huge 'broad modern art' building with the longest escalator ever. Webber enjoyed Jeff Koons, he thinks Koons is a troll and is just in it for the lolz.
endlessmike very kindly drove us to the airport despite the weird signage, checking in was bizarre however. This was our first experience with US airport security check in procedures so next time we really need to be more organised. And throw out EMPTY water bottles. In case they have bombs in them?
The flight was the best ever! Less than half full, really short flight and SKYMALL CATALOGUES.
For those who are uninitiated, SkyMall is best summed up by these articles by the famous Bill Hanstock - part one, part two and part three.
Speaking of whom, we are currently residing with Bill, Ryan and Peter (and the gorgeous Bella) and rocking out downtown San Jose.
Peter was making dinner so Bill took us down the road to the 7-11 where we became seriously excited by the vast selection of ice cream sandwiches
Shara and Webber bought 680mL cans of drink for 99¢ and I decided to brave a small Mountain Dew Volt slushee because of all the flavours there it was the least scary ('Gridiron' flavour is too terrifying) but it tasted foul and I just threw it out.
One of the more disgusting looking drinks was 'Tomato and Clam Chowder' and THIS SHOULD NEVER BE AVAILABLE.
Bill also bought a 64 oz (1.9 litre) Double Gulp of Diet Dr Pepper, which should probably also never be available. It tasted awful. Peter made some awesome awesome tandori chicken with chutney and mint and "cilantro" yoghurt, and then we drank beer and discussed ways in which America is unlike Australia.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Day 1: AWAKE
Hey dudes what up?
We are all awake at 10:00 pm because we unadvisedly went to sleep at 7:00 pm. It was dark! I'm still real tired tho. Anyway this is what has happened oh WAIT an ad for Burn Notice is on! OK Now I blog but don’t forget that nothing turns a woman on like something that goes boom! Oh man I think I just broke the ridiculous coffee machine! I once read an article in Bitch and it said that tea was not worth discussing because it was only drunk by the British or something. So fittingly there is no kettle in the hotel room ONLY A COFFEE MAKER!! What the hell is that? I am trying to get it to make me some hot water that doesn’t have coffee residue in it and that doesn’t smell or taste like coffee. So far this is impossible so the most important question is SHOULD I BUY A CHEAP KETTLE AND TAKE IT WITH ME? Drinking tea is imperative especially in cold weather!! You can get two tacos a burger and chips for $3!! my god!!
There are many many unsecured networks and all of them are terrible! Anyway so we went to the airport with Lyndal’s mum. Webber insisted we go the way we normally go to avoid tolls but Lyndal’s mum is a toll lover and this saddened her, also it took longer. Can you really master beauty in motion? We got to airport a bit late and stood in line. Lyndal decided to put this hilarious wire contraption on her bag. This took possibly 15 mins and it was greatly amusing I have much photographic evidence but I dunno if I can get if off my iboner yet.
So when we checked in was when we have the first of our many problems. I had brought a copy of my visa waiver application but Lyndal had not and Webber had brought my application number printed out because he thought it was his. The lady checking us in informed them that we wouldn’t be able to get into America without these ridiculous application numbers. Lyndal rang her dad to get her number but Webber didn’t notice that he had my number until we had checked in so we spent the whole trip (22 hours) worrying that we wouldn’t get into America at all. Guess what happened when we arrived? They just made us fill in the old school paper forms. They didn’t even ask us if we had applied online and they certainly didn’t expect us to remember the numbers because they are unable to look them up in their computer system! Way to go Pacific Air lady! Anyway then we changed money and everyone got real surly (not me tho!). We ate $8.50 rolls and Lyndal’s contained black plastic hell yeh! We got the GST back for this computer and it was annoying too. We got on the plane and it was all pretty cute wait I didn’t mean to say that. Webber had never been on a full service international flight so he wasn’t aware of the disgusting plane food that was awaiting him! Wow there is some intense show about getting married to a nude model on, the mums are crying and telling their sons which nudie model to marry. So we ate quick a bit of creepy food oh man wait this lady on tv chose this weight loss drugs because it is FDA approved um how can you take it if it isn’t? We took some great photo that show our youth and enthusiasm for travelling and being foxy.
We just purchased ten minute sexy hotel legs. It was free but it will get us a strong six pack. Lyndal is watching this whilst drinking American coke (disgusting) and eating spicy nachos Doritos. Anyway this was all cool. Then we got to Fiji, where it was insanely hot and we had to wait four hours to get the plane to LA. This was insane! By the time we got on the plane we were so tired and so hot! Then we were totally unable to get to sleep for the next 10 hours! Yay!
We landed in LA and we major form problems because Pacific Air employees are crazy and do not understand how immigration or air travel work. So we eventually went through the surliest customs and immigration experience ever. Everything was pretty quick but bizarrely then getting out of the airport is extremely difficult! We stood outside and realised it was going to be impossible to find Kristen so Webber went to call her. Immediately after he left we found Kristen in the crowd. Then we had to find Webber. An earthy elderly Obama supporter tried to crack onto me, which is always nice when you look terrible as you have been awake for a day. Then Webber came back and he almost bought Cinnabon but luckily he didn’t have to. We all went to Kristen’s car and on the way we saw A POLICE OFFICER ON A SEGWAY! AMAZING! I wanted to take a photo of him but I thought I might get tasered! They play loops of pointless information all over the airport so in that way it is like Japan, except we can understand the recordings and there are not fun.
Then we went to the hotel and that was cool endlessmike called us and said she is going to hang out with us tomorrow hel yeh you jealous suckas? The most exciting thing happened then as went to the supermarket WHICH IS THE BEST PLACE. The wonders of the supermarket were huge. We brought lots of weird food they had red bananas! Everything may have salmonella on it (EXCITING) umm you can buy a lot of pre-packaged vegetables!!
Oh apparently whilst we were sleeping I randomly said hey we’re in America and everyone is laughing at me but this is a true statement said whilst sleeping! Apparently I said something about peppermills but Lyndal is kinda 420ed. Man I am concerned about this talking in my sleep! What if I tell everyone the combination to my sexy safe?
OK so we bought many drinks and they WERE ALL GROSS! Webber will update about them shortly. We ate a fat burger and it was scary so I think I am going to give up on food and only drink liquid food like milkshakes. We bought a cell phone so you can call us if you like it is +1 (323) 314-4965. Don’t text us unless you need to tell us something AMAZING because it costs us 25 cents to receive texts also calls I think WHAT KIND OF SYSTEM IS THIS? Um I can’t remember anything else marvel at our photos.
We are all awake at 10:00 pm because we unadvisedly went to sleep at 7:00 pm. It was dark! I'm still real tired tho. Anyway this is what has happened oh WAIT an ad for Burn Notice is on! OK Now I blog but don’t forget that nothing turns a woman on like something that goes boom! Oh man I think I just broke the ridiculous coffee machine! I once read an article in Bitch and it said that tea was not worth discussing because it was only drunk by the British or something. So fittingly there is no kettle in the hotel room ONLY A COFFEE MAKER!! What the hell is that? I am trying to get it to make me some hot water that doesn’t have coffee residue in it and that doesn’t smell or taste like coffee. So far this is impossible so the most important question is SHOULD I BUY A CHEAP KETTLE AND TAKE IT WITH ME? Drinking tea is imperative especially in cold weather!! You can get two tacos a burger and chips for $3!! my god!!
There are many many unsecured networks and all of them are terrible! Anyway so we went to the airport with Lyndal’s mum. Webber insisted we go the way we normally go to avoid tolls but Lyndal’s mum is a toll lover and this saddened her, also it took longer. Can you really master beauty in motion? We got to airport a bit late and stood in line. Lyndal decided to put this hilarious wire contraption on her bag. This took possibly 15 mins and it was greatly amusing I have much photographic evidence but I dunno if I can get if off my iboner yet.
So when we checked in was when we have the first of our many problems. I had brought a copy of my visa waiver application but Lyndal had not and Webber had brought my application number printed out because he thought it was his. The lady checking us in informed them that we wouldn’t be able to get into America without these ridiculous application numbers. Lyndal rang her dad to get her number but Webber didn’t notice that he had my number until we had checked in so we spent the whole trip (22 hours) worrying that we wouldn’t get into America at all. Guess what happened when we arrived? They just made us fill in the old school paper forms. They didn’t even ask us if we had applied online and they certainly didn’t expect us to remember the numbers because they are unable to look them up in their computer system! Way to go Pacific Air lady! Anyway then we changed money and everyone got real surly (not me tho!). We ate $8.50 rolls and Lyndal’s contained black plastic hell yeh! We got the GST back for this computer and it was annoying too. We got on the plane and it was all pretty cute wait I didn’t mean to say that. Webber had never been on a full service international flight so he wasn’t aware of the disgusting plane food that was awaiting him! Wow there is some intense show about getting married to a nude model on, the mums are crying and telling their sons which nudie model to marry. So we ate quick a bit of creepy food oh man wait this lady on tv chose this weight loss drugs because it is FDA approved um how can you take it if it isn’t? We took some great photo that show our youth and enthusiasm for travelling and being foxy.
We just purchased ten minute sexy hotel legs. It was free but it will get us a strong six pack. Lyndal is watching this whilst drinking American coke (disgusting) and eating spicy nachos Doritos. Anyway this was all cool. Then we got to Fiji, where it was insanely hot and we had to wait four hours to get the plane to LA. This was insane! By the time we got on the plane we were so tired and so hot! Then we were totally unable to get to sleep for the next 10 hours! Yay!
We landed in LA and we major form problems because Pacific Air employees are crazy and do not understand how immigration or air travel work. So we eventually went through the surliest customs and immigration experience ever. Everything was pretty quick but bizarrely then getting out of the airport is extremely difficult! We stood outside and realised it was going to be impossible to find Kristen so Webber went to call her. Immediately after he left we found Kristen in the crowd. Then we had to find Webber. An earthy elderly Obama supporter tried to crack onto me, which is always nice when you look terrible as you have been awake for a day. Then Webber came back and he almost bought Cinnabon but luckily he didn’t have to. We all went to Kristen’s car and on the way we saw A POLICE OFFICER ON A SEGWAY! AMAZING! I wanted to take a photo of him but I thought I might get tasered! They play loops of pointless information all over the airport so in that way it is like Japan, except we can understand the recordings and there are not fun.
Then we went to the hotel and that was cool endlessmike called us and said she is going to hang out with us tomorrow hel yeh you jealous suckas? The most exciting thing happened then as went to the supermarket WHICH IS THE BEST PLACE. The wonders of the supermarket were huge. We brought lots of weird food they had red bananas! Everything may have salmonella on it (EXCITING) umm you can buy a lot of pre-packaged vegetables!!
Oh apparently whilst we were sleeping I randomly said hey we’re in America and everyone is laughing at me but this is a true statement said whilst sleeping! Apparently I said something about peppermills but Lyndal is kinda 420ed. Man I am concerned about this talking in my sleep! What if I tell everyone the combination to my sexy safe?
OK so we bought many drinks and they WERE ALL GROSS! Webber will update about them shortly. We ate a fat burger and it was scary so I think I am going to give up on food and only drink liquid food like milkshakes. We bought a cell phone so you can call us if you like it is +1 (323) 314-4965. Don’t text us unless you need to tell us something AMAZING because it costs us 25 cents to receive texts also calls I think WHAT KIND OF SYSTEM IS THIS? Um I can’t remember anything else marvel at our photos.
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