Day 1: AWAKE

Hey dudes what up?

We are all awake at 10:00 pm because we unadvisedly went to sleep at 7:00 pm. It was dark! I'm still real tired tho. Anyway this is what has happened oh WAIT an ad for Burn Notice is on! OK Now I blog but don’t forget that nothing turns a woman on like something that goes boom! Oh man I think I just broke the ridiculous coffee machine! I once read an article in Bitch and it said that tea was not worth discussing because it was only drunk by the British or something. So fittingly there is no kettle in the hotel room ONLY A COFFEE MAKER!! What the hell is that? I am trying to get it to make me some hot water that doesn’t have coffee residue in it and that doesn’t smell or taste like coffee. So far this is impossible so the most important question is SHOULD I BUY A CHEAP KETTLE AND TAKE IT WITH ME? Drinking tea is imperative especially in cold weather!! You can get two tacos a burger and chips for $3!! my god!!

There are many many unsecured networks and all of them are terrible! Anyway so we went to the airport with Lyndal’s mum. Webber insisted we go the way we normally go to avoid tolls but Lyndal’s mum is a toll lover and this saddened her, also it took longer. Can you really master beauty in motion? We got to airport a bit late and stood in line. Lyndal decided to put this hilarious wire contraption on her bag. This took possibly 15 mins and it was greatly amusing I have much photographic evidence but I dunno if I can get if off my iboner yet.



So when we checked in was when we have the first of our many problems. I had brought a copy of my visa waiver application but Lyndal had not and Webber had brought my application number printed out because he thought it was his. The lady checking us in informed them that we wouldn’t be able to get into America without these ridiculous application numbers. Lyndal rang her dad to get her number but Webber didn’t notice that he had my number until we had checked in so we spent the whole trip (22 hours) worrying that we wouldn’t get into America at all. Guess what happened when we arrived? They just made us fill in the old school paper forms. They didn’t even ask us if we had applied online and they certainly didn’t expect us to remember the numbers because they are unable to look them up in their computer system! Way to go Pacific Air lady! Anyway then we changed money and everyone got real surly (not me tho!). We ate $8.50 rolls and Lyndal’s contained black plastic hell yeh! We got the GST back for this computer and it was annoying too. We got on the plane and it was all pretty cute wait I didn’t mean to say that. Webber had never been on a full service international flight so he wasn’t aware of the disgusting plane food that was awaiting him! Wow there is some intense show about getting married to a nude model on, the mums are crying and telling their sons which nudie model to marry. So we ate quick a bit of creepy food oh man wait this lady on tv chose this weight loss drugs because it is FDA approved um how can you take it if it isn’t? We took some great photo that show our youth and enthusiasm for travelling and being foxy.




We just purchased ten minute sexy hotel legs. It was free but it will get us a strong six pack. Lyndal is watching this whilst drinking American coke (disgusting) and eating spicy nachos Doritos. Anyway this was all cool. Then we got to Fiji, where it was insanely hot and we had to wait four hours to get the plane to LA. This was insane! By the time we got on the plane we were so tired and so hot! Then we were totally unable to get to sleep for the next 10 hours! Yay!



We landed in LA and we major form problems because Pacific Air employees are crazy and do not understand how immigration or air travel work. So we eventually went through the surliest customs and immigration experience ever. Everything was pretty quick but bizarrely then getting out of the airport is extremely difficult! We stood outside and realised it was going to be impossible to find Kristen so Webber went to call her. Immediately after he left we found Kristen in the crowd. Then we had to find Webber. An earthy elderly Obama supporter tried to crack onto me, which is always nice when you look terrible as you have been awake for a day. Then Webber came back and he almost bought Cinnabon but luckily he didn’t have to. We all went to Kristen’s car and on the way we saw A POLICE OFFICER ON A SEGWAY! AMAZING! I wanted to take a photo of him but I thought I might get tasered! They play loops of pointless information all over the airport so in that way it is like Japan, except we can understand the recordings and there are not fun.


Then we went to the hotel and that was cool endlessmike called us and said she is going to hang out with us tomorrow hel yeh you jealous suckas? The most exciting thing happened then as went to the supermarket WHICH IS THE BEST PLACE. The wonders of the supermarket were huge. We brought lots of weird food they had red bananas! Everything may have salmonella on it (EXCITING) umm you can buy a lot of pre-packaged vegetables!!




Oh apparently whilst we were sleeping I randomly said hey we’re in America and everyone is laughing at me but this is a true statement said whilst sleeping! Apparently I said something about peppermills but Lyndal is kinda 420ed. Man I am concerned about this talking in my sleep! What if I tell everyone the combination to my sexy safe?

OK so we bought many drinks and they WERE ALL GROSS! Webber will update about them shortly. We ate a fat burger and it was scary so I think I am going to give up on food and only drink liquid food like milkshakes. We bought a cell phone so you can call us if you like it is +1 (323) 314-4965. Don’t text us unless you need to tell us something AMAZING because it costs us 25 cents to receive texts also calls I think WHAT KIND OF SYSTEM IS THIS? Um I can’t remember anything else marvel at our photos.